Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
