what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
