i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
