There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
