Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
