We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize