so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
