they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Acid is not a monday night drug
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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