make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
