anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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