I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
