oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I want to fling myself into the sun
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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