I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
