You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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