I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
