Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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