Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
