His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
