My room smells like vodka and shame
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
