we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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