So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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