You can't motorboat a personality
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
They are going to name an STD after you.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
