After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
