capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
