glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
