she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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