I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
