just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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