would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
