I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
