i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
