well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
