I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
