You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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