508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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