I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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