# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
