R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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