If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
