i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
