DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
