is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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