jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
