this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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