im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
