This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
