Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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