Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
