Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
