Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
