yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
