Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
