Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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