btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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