There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
