I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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