fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
