You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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